We are so excited to highlight our next mom! Alis is a standout mom that is strong, kind and honestly, one of a kind. Her and her husband had a harder road to getting pregnant, but were blessed with twins and a few years later a baby girl.
Please welcome her to the Mom of Fame!
Tell us about yourself and your family!
My name is Alis and I have been married to my husband Darrel for almost 11 years. I have 8 year old boy/girl twins and a 6 year old daughter. We tried for 2 years to get pregnant and during that time I was diagnosed with PCOS and we ended up needing fertility treatments which gave us the twins. All 3 kids have completely different personalities and keep us on our toes.
What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?
When I was pregnant so many people said “take the help you are offered”. I didn’t realize what that meant until I had kids and learned quickly that it truly takes a village. My immediate family is amazing, and I always knew they would be there, but those outside supporting roles were crucial. I am glad I kept that advice in mind and definitely pass it along with a little more elaboration. It’s hard to admit that sometimes we feel under water and invite people to take things off our plate. We feel that accepting help is admitting weakness, but in reality we have so many people put in our paths to not just make us feel better but to add to our children’s lives. Our children’s lives have been changed because we took the help offered by their teachers, principal, school district, their friends’ parents, and our own friends. It really does take a village!
How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?
I am an over researcher; if I am going to do something you better believe I have obsessed over it for some time. During our fertility journey I was on every article, blog, forum, website you could imagine. I had this wonderful plan that I knew was perfect, until I was handed my babies (and yes you think you can make a plan no matter how many you have). I didn’t realize that in spite of your best efforts your plans will fly out the window and that you will probably go against every rule you set for yourself at some point in time.
What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?
My sense of humor in most situations. If I didn’t laugh I would probably cry, a lot. Plus my kids have very tough skin because they have learned to laugh at themselves. What is life without laughter?
My ability to not be too high strung. I know my kids will be kids and that means they will get dirty, they will get hurt but they will learn and it’s okay. I can’t teach them some things, only living life can do that.
My ability to apologize. It’s hard being a kid just like it’s hard being a parent. Every stage of life is new to me as a parent. Sometimes I get it wrong and I am not too proud to tell my kids, “I am sorry, I was wrong, can you please forgive me?” I think it’s important for them to know it’s okay to make a mistake but also to own up and apologize no matter who you are.
Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.
It’s always overwhelming, I don’t think you are doing it right if you aren’t overwhelmed. This is the hardest job on the planet and we do it everyday with no breaks, even when we aren’t with them our minds are.
I will say my most overwhelming experience, specifically, was when my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD. This was when taking help was crucial. We went through some really trying times during that period but her school stepped up in a big way and has gotten her so much help. She has adjusted beautifully but that almost broke me.
Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?
I don’t feel I lost anything in a bad way. I think that before kids my sense of accomplishment was so different. Instead of measuring success and life goals by money and material things (although I wouldn’t turn down winning lottery numbers) my success in this world is my children.
What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?
To laugh – always to laugh, it will make your life so much richer.
To be kind – be kind when no one can see you and be kind when you know you can never be repaid.
Always do your best – even if you fall short, no one can ever ask you for more than your best.
Finally, to love – love yourself, love each other, and love those you don’t know. Love without bounds and love unconditionally.
Can you tell us some of the differences in pregnancy and motherhood (in general) that you have experienced with having twins vs. a singleton?
I think I got lucky having twins first because I didn’t know the difference. They were my baseline for pregnancy. When I was pregnant with my singleton I was amazed how much easier I could breathe and move. Looking back at pictures now and how big I was with twins I have no idea how I did it!