We here at Momfaming have had some personal things happen within the last few months. We lost the time where we used to interview our wonderful mothers. Starting with Becky we are hoping to get back into the swing of things tenfold.
Becky is a rockstar. She is a full-time working mommy of three who is married to a pilot and still (somehow) makes a little self-care time for herself. She is a role model when it comes to examples of what a mother should be and we are thrilled she wanted to participate in our blog.
Read on to see why she really does deserve the title of Mom of Fame!
Please tell us about yourself and your family.
Hey everyone! First of all, I can’t believe I’ve been asked to guest-write on a blog. This is so exciting, especially because Momfaming is one of my favorite pick-me-up spots when I need the extra support. So thank you for my 5-seconds of fame! But back to myself and my family so I’m a good guest blogger 🙂 I’m 35 years old (I think? I often must count up from my birth year to figure it out. I hope I’m not alone there!). I work as a Sr. Learning Consultant for True Value Company, which I’ve done for seven years. I was very blessed two years ago when my company allowed me to work remotely after deciding we wanted to move back to MI after 10 years of living in various other places. I’m married to the only person on this planet who could possibly handle my craziness – Blair. We went to the same high school (go Wildcats!), but never knew each other, as we were a year apart. We were blindly set-up my mutual friends (Hey Mike and Michelle!) and the rest is history. We have three beautiful Little Freemans – Luke (9), Lily (6), and Brielle (3). Our family is rounded out by Bella, our puggle, two hamsters (at one point we had eight, which we had to separate into individual cages due to three rounds of incest and MORE hamsters…fun times), and a 55-gallon tank of fish!
What was the best advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that advice to someone else?
To be completely honest, I received SO much advice that after a while, it was overwhelming. People’s opinions and ideas about how to diaper, how to set schedules, how to dress, feed, nurse, sleep, burp, medicate, etc. were never in shortage! I did my best to absorb what I could, but when my first was born – it ALL went out the window and I somehow just knew what to do. I know many call this mommy instincts, but for me, it couldn’t be truer. So, rather than advice, I like to let new moms figure it out on their own, and if they ask me, I’ll tell them how I did it. But each baby and mommy are different than the next!
How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?
It takes a lot more work than I ever could have prepared for! You rarely get to see a mom “behind the scenes” while in action, because let’s face it – unless I’m married to you, if you come over I’m doing my very best to put on a show and make it look like we’re totally under control! So, prior to having kids, I had no idea how time consuming (yet rewarding!) it can all be. You don’t get “down time” as we all know. When you get the rare moment to yourself, your wheels are turning about the next thing related to keeping your family afloat.
What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?
Being organized – anyone who knows me knows this is my super power. I love to stay ahead of things. Being married to a pilot whose schedule changes monthly, we need to have structure, routine, process, strong communication, and most importantly, a plan!
Taking the time to understand a situation – this one sounds weird but let me explain. I work hard at putting myself in other people’s shoes to get a better idea of what they are thinking and feeling, which may be driving their actions. My children, their teachers, bus drivers, grandparents, etc. This is so extremely helpful when little kid emotions flair. I can help them by asking why they’re upset, what they expected to happen that didn’t, and how they can help themselves in any situation. I’m all about empowering my kids, but first I need to teach them the skills of empathy and understanding.
Being a mom and not a best friend – I love my children. Fiercely. But I’m the first one to tell them when they aren’t living their lives in accordance with our family motto of “Faith. Family. Friends.” I firmly believe that while I want to be friends with my children, my first role in their little lives is to guide, correct, and nurture. I’m tough on them, but that’s because this world will be tough on them. They need to have the strength to stand tall in today’s world, because lots of situations and experiences will try and pull them down. I’m here to ensure they know right from wrong, how to use their voices, and how to positively contribute to the world!
Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.
Blair is gone typically three to five days at a time. Having a 3, 6, and 9-year-old keeps me on my toes daily! As a family, we have full-time work, full-time school, daycare, homework, dance, Cub Scouts, Daisies (which I lead), friend issues, home maintenance, pet care, chores, church (not just the service – I teach Sunday School and have choir practice, too!) So it’s hard to pick just one time, as I think motherhood ebs and flows when it comes to being overwhelmed. But the beauty is that – it’s our life! I wouldn’t trade any one of those things. I combat the craziness by being organized, asking for and willingly receiving help (i.e. my cleaning lady who is amazing and budgeted weekly because mama needs a minute!) and having a tribe of people to go to when I need them (you know who you are….)
Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother?
Not at all. I truly believe this is who I was destined to be and am so happy at where I am in my life! It’s a lot of work, but holy cow is it worth it. My heart lives in each of my three kids, and the blood, sweat, and tears I put into them pays out ten-fold every night when I’m tucking them into bed.
What have you gained?
Besides 60lbs? LOL! I have gained the capacity to love more than I ever knew possible. I have gained the ability to push myself harder than I thought I could, because they need me. I’ve gained patience, the ability to think before acting, and to love everything about myself, including my flaws. I have three kids who constantly look up to me, so I need to stay real, stay positive, and rock it out the best I can! (And regarding the 60lbs – I’m happy to say that I’m down 30lbs since August, as I’ve reprioritized my life and made time for ME, which is so important.)
What do you want your children to learn from you?
Insert the tears! What do I want my children to learn from me? That life isn’t perfect, but you have a choice as to how you react to it. That they have a voice that can make a difference. To be kind (I tell them this every morning before school). That it’s ok to love so big, it makes your heart hurt. That when your heart hurts, it’s ok to talk to someone about it (hopefully, they trust me enough to be that person!) And mostly, I want them to learn to have faith. In God, first, and in themselves secondly. Their lives are what they make of it – go out there and shine my sweet angels!
You have so much going on! You work, have three kids, a pilot husband and you still make time for self care. What is your secret? Any advice to moms?
I’ve had the great pleasure to meet an author by the name of Mel Robbins. Mel wrote a book titled “The 5-Second Rule.” Here’s the rule: The moment you have an impulse to act on a goal, you must push yourself to move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it. Man, is this SO TRUE for me. My workouts are first-thing in the morning. I wake up at 5:15 to get ahead of the kids, who wake at 6:45. It’s not fun, and I never want to do it. But I know that once my feet are on the floor, there’s no turning back. I use this principle in everything in life – Just. Go. Just do it! Not everything will be glamorous, but once you see a need, a desire, a goal, a chore – anything really, take those 5-seconds and GET MOVING! You’ll be so happy to look back at those overwhelming days and say “Wow, I’m a freaking rock star!”