As I write this I have about four more weeks before I have to go back to my full time job. Yep. Full-time job. That sounds crazy, right? I have a *newborn* and a toddler so that surely is my full-time job. RIGHT!? I am screaming this because I am not quite sure how I am going to do it all.
Why, as a society, have we not gotten better about how we treat working moms? Why is everything still going to be expected of us when we go back to work?
Let me tell you right now – maternity is NOT a vacation. It’s not 12 weeks where the moms get to party and live it up. It is quite literally the hardest job you can imagine.
While your body (and mind) are healing from pushing a baby out you are taking care of a newborn and most likely other children. You are on call every minute of every single day.
Besides taking care of your children you also feel like you have to cook, clean, shop and maintain everything around the household. You should have to be the one to do it all, right? That’s what society tells us.
Going back to a full-time job and having a full-time job at home doesn’t seem possible and I am fearing it.
I am fearing leaving my three month old daughter with complete strangers.
I am fearing how my nights will look when trying to get everything ready for the next day.
I am fearing the new morning routine. Trying to get a toddler and newborn out of the house.
I am fearing dinners and how on earth they are going to get made.
I am fearing how any household task is going to get done.
I am fearing getting back into the groove at work and finding my stride again.
I am fearing all the breaks I will need to take to pump.
I am fearing not breastfeeding my daughter whenever she needs it and instead having a stranger give her the pumped milk (this one also makes me incredibly sad).
So, there you have it, I am a scared and I know I’m not the only one that has these thoughts. I know mothers everywhere are thinking the same things and more. I just wish we would be able to do something about it and stay home with our babies a little longer.
One can dream…