Personal Blog

How do you know you’re done having kids?

This question has been playing in my mind over and over again since I had my second baby. She is only seven weeks old, but I’ve had a good amount of time to think (because of the measles outbreak in my home town I’m afraid to go anywhere).

I’ve always thought I would be done at two. I have a boy and a girl and I feel like that’s perfect for our family. A family of four sounds good. There are two of us and two of them. Financially it makes sense. We will still live our life how we normally do and take vacations every year. It makes sense.

My baby boy. The first born. It was easy to know I wanted one more after him!

So if I think all that WHY can’t I get that nagging voice out of my head that says ‘well, maybe…’. There are pros and cons to everything and I know that, for my family, the pros of two are better.

My second born. This time it’s a little harder to make that call.

How did you know? How did you know that you were done having kids? I didn’t take the time to enjoy my last pregnancy and I wish I had since it might be my last. That’s so hard to think of though, right? I won’t feel the kicks again? Or the moment they lay your baby on your chest?

Tell me. How did you know? Did you go through a mourning process?

4 comments

  1. We are struggling with this topic as well. My pregnancies we not easy and both high risk so that is the one major thing holding us back besides the normal having more than two babies. I would love to see what others say!?

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    1. Yea, I have been going back and forth. I still have a newborn, but have been asking myself that question. I am leaning toward being done, but it’s hard to say for sure!

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  2. I think it is normal to waiver back and forth. During my third pregnancy I struggled with anxiety and depression for the first time even though we had planned the pregnancy and I had always wanted three or four. children I was pretty certain at that point (before she was even born) that I did not want more. At the time I couldn’t imagine childcare expenses for another and my life felt full, I didn’t see feel I could devote the individual time to another child without spreading myself thin. I remember when my youngest was 2 years old, and another time as she started kindergarten that I wondered if we had made the right decision. There was a part of me that wanted another baby but maybe just to experience the magic again, the newborn stage again, etc. At this point in life I am confident we made the right decision, but I don’t think it is out of the question in the distant future to foster or adopt.

    Liked by 1 person

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