I met Lindsay when she started dating one of my husband’s friends. She immediately fit in with everyone and I knew right away that we would get along perfectly. Fast forward five years and we were both pregnant at the same time and due only weeks apart.
When she went into the hospital to be induced her husband kept his friends updated daily in a group text. It took her several days and a pretty scary delivery but eventaully she had her beautiful baby girl. Two days later I went into labor and had my son within a few hours of getting to the hospital. We gave birth only 2 days apart but our experiences were so completely different. Lindsay told me later that when her husband told her how quickly we had our baby she said “you know I love your friends, but they suck”.
In reality she was extremely happy for us because she is just that type of person. She puts others first and you can really tell that when watching her as a mom. She had to wait longer than most to have her happy ending and because of that she doesn’t take anything for granted. Please help us welcome Lindsay to the Mom of Fame, she deserves it more than she realizes!
Please tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.
I was born and raised in Central Pennsylvania. I moved around the country (St. Louis, Virginia Beach and Atlanta) after college, but settled back down here in 2001. I met my husband Ken in October 2012 when he moved here from Michigan for a new job. We bonded over our mutual love for sports, our families and friends. I feel like we clicked instantly and I knew he was “the one” when my dog Captain kissed him on the first date. This is our joke, but Captain was a rescue and afraid of men, but jumped right up on Ken’s lap and loved him from day one. We adopted another dog, Lollipop, after buying our new house in September 2014. We got married in June 2015 and knew we wanted to start a family (human babies) right away. We faced some challenges along the way and eventually were blessed with a beautiful baby girl in October 2017. She is now 15 months old and we really count our blessings each and every day.
What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?
There’s no shortage of advice when you’re a new mom. I think the best advice was probably that each kid is unique and that you will figure out what is best for your child and know what your child needs. We were also told by friends who recently had their first child that the first month or two is insane with little sleep, but that time passes quickly and you will survive and thrive again. For the most part [I did take the advice]. The second piece of advice helped me through those tough first few months of adapting to minimal sleep and being responsible for a tiny human being. I would definitely [give that advice to others].
How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?
I imagined lots of fun activities like going to parks, museums, beaches, Mommy & Me classes, festivals and etc. I pictured doing these things with my friends with kids as well. The difference is I didn’t realize kids have different nap schedules, kids get sick A LOT (which changes plans frequently) and I didn’t imagine some things I thought my daughter would love (MyGym) were terrifying to her and more like torture than a fun bonding experience. On the serious side, I have more love and patience than I ever thought possible. I seriously can’t stop hugging and telling my daughter how much I love her while she’s still little and can’t push me away.
What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?
Sense of humor.First, I’m silly with my baby girl, dancing, singing, giggling, making faces and etc. I love to make her laugh and giggle. Second, I use sense of humor to get through the tougher times of motherhood and life in general.
Openness. I am open and honest and willing to communicate with anyone. I am open to new ideas, trying new ways of doing things and often reach out to my friends and other moms for advice or best practices when something isn’t working out.
Empathetic.I try to understand what others are going through and why they may act/react a certain way. For parenting, I am trying to understand what it must be like for her and what she may be going through even though she isn’t able to express or communicate to us fully yet. This is particularly helpful in stressful times when she smacks food out of my hands or throws it back at me during meals.
Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.
The first few months were really difficult. We had a mostly healthy 38 weeks of pregnancy and took all the classes we could and felt prepared to enter parenthood. We knew there would be much to learn on the fly as well. At 39 weeks it was determined I had high blood pressure so they wanted to induce. It took about 3.5 days from the time they started different induction methods until our little girl was born. I experienced some complications and she was born with fluid and meconium in her lungs so she was rushed to NICU. I didn’t get to hold her until the next day due to my recovery from the complications. I cried when I first held her from an influx of emotions and love. Then all of a sudden I was overwhelmed with anxiety and panic. She spent a week in the NICU. My husband had to start a new job four days after we brought her home. Luckily my mom is retired and lives relatively close so she came down every day to help out while he was at work. I was literally scared to be left alone with her. The anxiety was unlike anything I ever experienced before. Of course, I felt like a bad mother for feeling that way. Around six weeks she developed colic and started spitting up and crying in pain frequently. After several doctor visits it was determined she had acid reflux. On her 3 month birthday we met with a Pediatric GI Specialist that helped us remedy and deal with her discomfort and reflux. At that point, we realized we had a very happy baby and from there on the anxiety decreased and I began feeling more confident in my parenting. I feel bad at times to think of how stressed and anxious I was in the beginning, but I know now that we made it through as stronger parents and partners. There’s still plenty of anxiety that pops up from time to time, but I believe that’s normal and it’s nothing that consumes me.
Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?
I’ve lost my privacy, you know, going to the bathroom alone, for even a minute. It’s one thing when she started coming in with me. It actually made me laugh, but now she’s intently watching me and sometimes offers me toilet paper, and that is taking some getting used to.
I’ve gained perspective and how to be present. Much of my time is spent sitting on the floor with her and watching her play, playing with her or reading to her. The smartphone, Facebook and texts can wait until she goes to bed. I am a working mother so I only have so many minutes a day with her and I do my best to be fully present and enjoy her.
What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?
Compassion. There’s so much negativity in the world today, but I hope that she will always keep an open mind and seek out opportunities to experience different cultures, have friends from different backgrounds, and help those who are less fortunate or those with differing abilities. I enjoy volunteering with different agencies in my community and sit on the board of a nonprofit. Between the diversity in our family and our volunteering efforts in the community, I hope that our daughter will also have a passion for giving back or just being open and caring to all individuals.
How do you think becoming a mom later in life changed how you handle motherhood?
There are definitely benefits of having children younger and there are benefits to having them when you’re a little older. My husband and I were both able to travel and experience the world before we met each other and have traveled quite a bit together before starting our family. I know for me personally, I grew and matured so much in my 30s. Like most people, I faced and overcame many different battles during my 20s and 30s and really learned who I was and wanted to be. I learned to be more confident in who I am. I chased my career goals, reached many of those and now I am at peace slowing my career down a little while growing our family. I’m still working and growing with my career, just at a different pace and I am more than satisfied with that. With that said, I don’t really feel like I am missing out on anything by taking time to spend with my family and raising a young child. Sure, I miss getting together with friends on the drop of a dime sometimes, but both my husband and I still take time to go out with friends and we take time for ourselves. I feel confident in who I am and what I want in life for me, my family and my daughter. I have always wanted to be a mother and it took me a little while longer to find the partner/teammate I wanted to start a family with. Then when I found him, it took us some time to get pregnant and have our little girl. It was all well worth the wait and I learned that good things truly do come to those who wait. I count my blessings for both daily and try not to take our life for granted.