Getting to know different kinds of moms is really the best. Whether meeting them in person or online, we learn something new with each interview. Morayma is single mom doing it all on her own. Mom to a teenage boy and preteen girl, things can be overwhelming. After reading her answers we have a new perspective on how raising children into teenage years can be.
We can all relate to so many of her answers. How hard it really is to be a mom, but how overwhelming wonderful it is at the same time.
Please help us welcome Morayma into our Mom of Fame! Please be sure to check out her blog, Adulthood Rewired (think healthy living, parenting, and life as an adult)!
Please tell us a little about yourself and your family.
I’m a single mom of two great kids living in Los Angeles. My daughter is 11 and just started middle school, and my son is 14 and will start high school next year. My life revolves around redefining myself as a woman and in my career post-divorce, and my kids…so it’s a lot of ballet lessons, soccer practice, Fortnite, and slime making!
I worked as a fashion model for 15 years before having my kids. After I had my son I couldn’t bear to leave him to travel for work, so I started my freelance writing career. I write content for different clients ranging from medical to fashion and everything in between. I am also a substitute teacher. About 5 months ago, I decided that I really wanted to be able to start writing for myself, and started my blog, Adulthood Rewired (www.adulthoodrewired.com). I’m having a lot of fun writing it and learning how to be an effective blogger. I write about healthy living, parenting, and life as an adult in general….how we are all just trying to figure things out from one day to the next!
What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?
Now that my kids are both in middle school and growing faster by the minute, I think the best piece of advice I was given was to “enjoy every minute of it”. Despite the sleepless nights, and toddler tantrums, I really wish I would’ve really enjoyed those years and those moments more and stressed out less. I wish I would’ve not worried so much about whether or not I was doing things “right” and just been in the moment. My kids are typical tween/teens now and love doing stuff on their own or with friends, and I miss having them around and cuddling up all the time…I feel like they grew up from one day to the next. Bittersweet. I would definitely give another mom the same advice. Just to slow down and enjoy every phase and stage [even the difficult ones] because someday they would miss it. All of it!
How is motherhood different than you thought it would be?
It’s A LOT harder than I thought it would be, and I didn’t think it was going to be easy to begin with! My son had some health challenges when he was a toddler which was very difficult to go through. It was also a learning experience to realize that what works for one child may not work for another…and that sometimes no matter what you do, your kids will still sometimes act out, make bad decisions, etc, and you have to let them stumble and fall and pick themselves back up. It’s hard not wanting to always make everything “ok” for them. My mom was a nanny so I grew up around babies and kids my entire life. I thought I had it in the bag, but having your own kids is a game changer. All of a sudden everything you thought you knew about raising kids goes out the window! It’s definitely a challenge, but so worth it.
What are your 3 strengths when it comes to motherhood?
I am and always have been very consistent when it comes to bedtimes, so my kids have always been great sleepers, on schedule, and well rested. Early to bed and no issues in the morning getting up. (Wish I could say the same about how they get ready for school in the mornings though! haha!)
I’m an avid researcher and have learned a lot about holistic health and natural remedies which have helped my kids and I stay as healthy as possible even during cold and flu season! My kids are so used to it that they were taking teaspoons of cod liver oil when they were little with no issues!
I’m an old fashioned mom in a lot of ways, which my kids may not appreciate now, but I like to think it’s a strength. At 11 and 14 they still don’t have cell phones, they have chores, they have earlier bedtimes than most of their friends…that type of thing. I don’t believe in raising entitled kids, and I try my hardest as a single mom to make sure they grow up to be respectful, and grateful. This is hard especially with my son, since I do think having a strong father figure in the home is so important especially for headstrong boys like mine is….but I do my best and hope at least some of it sticks.
Describe a time when you were completely overwhelmed as a mother?
It’s a toss up. When my son was little he had a reaction to a medication that caused some long lasting side effects. I was devastated and spent a few years researching and trying to find a way to recover him. Thankfully I was able to with the help of some amazing integrative doctors, but the stress and lack of sleep from worrying so much was incredibly overwhelming. Now, I am overwhelmed because it is so hard for me to feel like I know what I am doing….the teen years are an incredible challenge with him. Some days are great, but other days I feel completely at a loss.
Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?
In a lot of ways I feel like I lost my sense of identity. For 11 years I was a stay at home mom and wife. I stopped working and never really took any “me time”. After the divorce I had to figure out how to make ends meet and had to hit the ground running. I had to find myself again and learn to rely on only myself. Three years later and I am still struggling but staying strong. Always a work in progress. I have gained patience and a perspective in life that you just don’t have when you are not a parent. I have also gained the ability to love more than I ever thought possible.
What do you want your children to learn from you?
I want them to learn that I love them but am not perfect. That I will make mistakes, but we all do. I want them to learn to be strong, and independent, and to take on challenges head on. I want them to be happy, and never settle for less than they deserve. I want them to learn that you don’t need material things to be happy, and to always be kind.