Trisha made it look so easy. She has 3 adorable kiddos all with their own personalities. Her youngest daughter was in her lap just wanting to cuddle, her oldest daughter was sitting next to her convinced that she could answer our questions better than mom, and her son was jumping off of the playground into her husband’s arm. When it was time for dad to head home they divided and conquered; 2 of the kiddos went home with him, and one stayed with mom (with the promise of stopping for popsicles on the way home!)
Although it looks easy now, Trisha told us that it was not always that way. She was very honest about her struggles as a first time mom and detailed how it gets easier with each stage they go through (including having siblings to play with).
She is a full-time working mom with a husband who also works a full-time job as well as spends some “free time” as a volunteer firefighter. She has a lot on her plate, but she does it with such ease that you wouldn’t even know. We are so glad that we got to hear her perspective and are very excited to welcome Trisha to our Mom of Fame!
What is the best piece of advice you were given about motherhood? Did you take it? Would you give that piece of advice to someone else?
That everything is a phase and everything gets better. Which, at the time, I didn’t believe anybody. I’m like, “no, this is not going to get better at all”. But it’s funny because that is the one piece of advice that I give to all of my friends who are moms for the first time. That everything gets better. It’s all a phase; the sleeping, the crying, the eating. Everything just gets so much better. It’s tough when you’re in it. I remember I would just cry. I would just cry. But, I mean, I made it. I had three.
How is motherhood different than you imagined it would be?
So the first thing I thought of was the unconditional love. I had no idea that I’d be able to love another person as much as I love these kids. Even, I mean, I love my husband. I love him so much but it’s a totally different kind of love. And something that I wasn’t expecting at all.
What are your three strengths when it comes to motherhood?
This one was really really hard.
I think patience. I mean it’s probably not…it’s better than it was [laughs]. I mean, it’s tough, but I definitely think I’ve acquired a lot of patience over the years.
Prioritizing What’s Important
Sometimes I feel like you can get wrapped up in stuff. And you have to stop and be like, “you know what? Nope, I don’t have to go to the grocery store today, I’m gonna spend time with the kids”.
Asking for Help
I am a…I don’t know if it’s Type A personality…but I want to do everything myself. I don’t like to give up control. And it was really hard but I finally had to ask; whether it was my parents to come over and watch the kids, or getting a cleaning lady, or just having help of some kind. And that’s not easy for me to do at all.
Describe a time where you were completely overwhelmed as a mother.
Well that’s easy. That is when [my first] was born. You know, you read the books and your friends with kids tell you what’s kind of their experience, but until you’re in it you have no idea. The first 3 months, she cried nonstop. And when [my husband] went back to work, he was home a couple of weeks, it was the worst. I cried all day. I think part of it was that I probably had a little bit of depression after, too, but I didn’t realize it. And it was the winter, she was born in December. So it was dark really early, we couldn’t really get out of the house. That was the hardest thing. And you’re going from total independence to somebody who totally relies on you. I don’t think I was quite as ready as I thought I was. But it was really hard. She cried a lot. There were a lot of tears; from both of us.
Is there anything you feel that you have lost about yourself since becoming a mother? What have you gained?
That’s easy, being able to go to the bathroom alone [laughs]!
I think it’s hard to balance family and work. It’s hard…like, the guilt feeling, of working all day and coming home and then wanting to go out and see people, or do stuff. Because you feel bad, you’ve been gone all day. It’s gotten better, thankfully, but that was hard to balance everything.
[I’ve gained] more love than I thought was possible. Going back to the unconditional love thing. I mean, this [having her daughter cuddle with her while she does the interview] makes me so happy right now. It’s just a love that you never thought possible. I feel like, too, when you have your first kid you love them so much. When you’re pregnant with your second you worry. Like, “how am I going to love the second one as much?” And you do! It’s amazing how it works.
What do you want your child(ren) to learn from you?
I want them to be good people. I want them to want to help others. We do a lot of talking about being respectful and caring. I just want them to go out in the world and do good things and be good people, and help, and volunteer. We’re going to try to get into some volunteering stuff soon. We used to do a lot with the Humane Society and then we stopped. I want to get back into that and show them that you can do good things.
Tell us a little bit about how you handle situations when your husband gets called away at the fire station.
The fire station has its challenges. Many times we end up taking two cars places because you never know when he will get a call and it’s tough getting stranded, especially with all the kids. It never fails, though, he always seems to get runs right when it’s bed time [laughs].
It has been an adjustment to our family. We have to be more thoughtful about travel plans and our outings sometimes have become more local because he only gets so much time to be checked out. The kids love it though. Anytime they get to go to the fire station and play on the trucks is a huge highlight of their day.